Over the past 10 years, the childless rate for educated women including black women has been on the rise. For most people, childbearing is perceived as a given in the female experience, your biological purpose. This often means being the recipient of stereotypes about your character. You’re selfish, too mean, too picky, you’re married to your career or you just haven’t found the right man. Also, you either hate children or secretly want to have as many as your friends. None of which are often true.
In my late teens, I was pretty sure being a Mom was not for me and through the years, this hasn’t changed. I didn’t mind marriage which by itself seemed would be manageable but I found children to be that “box of chocolates” I really didn’t need. I had gauged my psyche could NEVER handle this level of joy, pain and exhaustion rolled into one.
Recently, my father informed me he enjoyed raising us girls, except for the phase we had with “those cats.” Phase? Maybe he forgot he was speaking with a happy, nearly forty year old single, childless woman with a spoiled 17 lb male tuxedo cat whom I adore.
Today, I have no regrets, I love my freedom, my life and doing my own thing, my way.